Alcuin

[whispersoflove]

Anael had been keeping an eye out for Alcuin without noticing him - until, of course, he spotted him with Hannibal, his attention drawn by the love radiating from the alcove. They were locked in a lover's embrace, for all that only one of them felt the warm sort of love Anael knew to recognise. There had been a flicker of something else for a second, coming from Hannibal, but it was gone as soon as it had sparked. It both warmed his heart and seeped cold into his bones, and he turned away to get another glass of wine from a passing waiter.

He had found Julie again in the crowd, and she was just telling him about this other party she was off to, and that he absolutely ought to come to. It was then that he spotted a flash of white in the crowd, making his way towards the exit, and he leaned in to kiss Julie's cheek, and gave her his warmest apologies, but there was a friend here that he had yet to catch, and she should make the most of her night. He would catch up with her if he could, but otherwise, she truly ought to seize the day.

Not that she needed him to tell her that.

He caught up with Alcuin, dressed in a white suit as Hannibal had described, the better to make him look... well, angelic, Anael supposed humans would call him. "Alcuin," he greeted him warmly, assuming that the mask on his features would not stop the young man from recognising him, as it had not stopped Hannibal. "Tell me you aren't on your way out already. I've been looking for you."

Comments

[alcuin]

"I did it because I loved him," Alcuin said. "I would have done anything for him. But he didn't ask it of me. I just - I wanted to help, to do something for him, to prove my worth. He'd never have let me if he knew how I really felt about it, and he only found out when it was too late - when someone hurt me. And that was the end of it."

[whispersoflove]

"Oh, Alcuin," Anael let out, heart aching for the young man. He instinctively reached out to lay a hand on his shoulder, gentle comfort, and support.

[alcuin]

Sensing that Hani wouldn't mind, Alcuin took the opportunity to curl up against him a little.

"It's okay," he said softly. "I'm okay."

[whispersoflove]

"You are," Anael confirmed, shifting his arm out of the way to wrap it around Alcuin's shoulders and make him more comfortable. He did not mind, on the contrary. "I can see, now, what you meant - about growing up too fast."

[alcuin]

"I came to live with Anafiel when I was twelve," Alcuin said softly, relaxing against him. "After my mother died. She was a prostitute, I grew up in a brothel. I've never really had anything... conventional. Until now. I'm finally out of the news, and I'm going to school, and..." Here is when he laughed, a little, a note of bitterness to it. "And I go and fall in love with another man twice my age."

[whispersoflove]

Anael did not like to hear that bitterness in his laugh, no matter how discreet it might be. "There's nothing wrong with that," he stated softly, and closed the book on his lap to set it on the couch's arm, so he wouldn't have to move to put it away. Once free, his hand found one of Alcuin's, to tangle their fingers loosely together. There was, perhaps, something wrong with Hannibal, but there was certainly nothing wrong with Alcuin's love for him. "You're free to choose everything about your life, now. But love... Love rarely leaves anyone a choice."

[alcuin]

Alcuin squeezed Hani's hand as he cuddled up against him. "I suppose you're right. And I don't regret it, not at all. I was such a mess after... I was in pieces. He helped put me back together. He's been the best thing in my life."

[whispersoflove]

Anael stroked the back of Alcuin's hand softly, rhythmically with his thumb. "I'm glad you found him." That, too, was true, regardless of Anael's suspicions.

[alcuin]

"You know so much about me and I know very little about you," Alcuin murmured. "What about you? Are you in love?"

[whispersoflove]

"Hmm." Thoughtful, and unhurried. "No, I'm not." His Love for God could not be summed up in such words; it was so much more than that, the sum of all the love he had ever felt in the world. "For all of my talk of love - I've never actually been in love."

[alcuin]

"Really?" Then Alcuin smiled at him, and tilted his head up to brush his lips to his cheek again. "Well, you're young yet."

[whispersoflove]

Anael chuckled at that, curling his arm and hand to stroke his fingers through the end of Alcuin's soft hair. "Yes. There is still time for me." But he did not think that it would happen, not anymore. And he did not miss it; he had all the Love anyone might wish for, and more.

[alcuin]

"I think you will," Alcuin said. "It would be so easy to love you. You're... I don't know, there's just something so warm about you. Like you're wrapped in sunshine."

[whispersoflove]

Anael smiled, genuinely, and squeezed Alcuin's hand. "Thank you, Alcuin." Then again, people had been in love with him. But while he had loved them back, each and every one of them, he had never been in love with them too. But there was no need to burden Alcuin with this, especially since Anael would not be able to explain it all. "That sounds like a bit of poetry."

[alcuin]

"Oh, I don't know," Alcuin said, sounding almost shy.

[whispersoflove]

"Well," Anael allowed, heedful of Alcuin's self-consciousness. "It's a lovely compliment, anyway."

[alcuin]

Alcuin smiled at him again, and then relaxed against him, finding himself drawing his fingers lightly over Hani's wrist. This was nice. He felt like the other man understood him and cared about him, that he didn't judge him at all. He felt so warm, which to be honest, was not something that Alcuin felt consistently from Hannibal.

[whispersoflove]

Anael smiled again, and relaxed his hand under the soft stroke to the sensitive skin of his wrist, letting Alcuin have at it. "Will you tell me?" he requested with a soft smile. "What it's like. Being in love."

He had felt it, of course, felt it every day that went by, but always - secondhand. And he was curious to find out what words Alcuin would put to it.

[alcuin]

Alcuin smiled at that. "Hannibal asked me the same question," he said. "He wanted to know what the words meant to me." He tried to remember what he told him, and closed his eyes and leaned against Hani, still touching his arm as he let himself feel it. "When I'm wish him I feel lighter, and happier, and safer. The thought of being without him is painful. And his approval, his happiness, means so much to me... I would do whatever is in my power to make him happy. And when he touches me it sparks as much warmth as desire."

[whispersoflove]

"Was it the same with both of them?" Anael asked curiously, almost whispering for fear of ruining the moment. It was such a lovely one, made of intricate emotions, both Alcuin's and his.

Would he take up arms again, if his Lord commanded it? Anael wished that he knew the answer to that question.

[alcuin]

"Very similar, actually," Alcuin admitted, his voice soft as well. "I saw them both as saviors, especially in the beginning. I know that Hannibal worried for a time that my feelings for him were nothing more than transference. But I know that it isn't the same love. It is for him alone."

[whispersoflove]

Transference; that wasn't a concept Anael was familiar with, but he assumed that it had to do with the recent psychology. And the context allowed him to infer what it might mean; loving Hannibal for what of Anafiel Alcuin saw in him. "Love springs from all sorts of places, doesn't it," he remarked quietly, leaning his head against Alcuin's.

[alcuin]

"It does," Alcuin said, with a happy little sigh. Though this time it was not from thoughts of Hannibal but from how nice it was to be held like this, right now, by Hani.

[whispersoflove]

Anael remained still for a few minutes, apart from the slow strokes of his fingers through Alcuin's hair, just thinking about Love, and love in all its different forms, silently praying to God to one day be allowed back into His presence.

Eventually, he focused back on Alcuin in his arms and breathed in his scent, then asked, "Would you mind if I read more of Anafiel's poetry?"

[alcuin]

Alcuin hummed quietly. "Not at all," he said. "Perhaps you could read to me."