Robin

[whispersoflove]

Anael walked without aim in the streets of London, not like he usually did, to watch people and enjoy their love, but because he had had to get out of Coby's flat. He would probably go flying later, but for now, he was simply walking, shoulders hunched, that same muted pain in his back, from the wing he had still not healed since that blood-filled night.

The less he thought about it, the better, and yet he could not bring himself to heal his wing. Part of it was being afraid that God would not grant him that miracle, but he knew that it was more than that. He simply didn't want to look at it too closely.

He nearly walked by Robin without noticing him, sitting alone in a pub, at a table by the window. It seemed so odd, Robin being alone in any kind of social setting, that before he knew it, Anael had doubled back to walk into the pub, and headed over to the puck.

"Are you waiting for someone?" he asked, reassured, at least, that he felt no overwhelming heartbreak coming from him.

Comments

[goodfellow]

Robin looked him in the eyes. "But I am," he said. "I am very good company. And I can't get you drunk, but whatever it is you need - I can give it to you."

[whispersoflove]

Anael stopped walking, so he could look Robin in the eye. He looked almost pained as he admitted, "I don't know what I need, Robin. But I haven't - I can't - and I hurt you, last time we were together." Being unable to voice things was also very unlike Anael.

[goodfellow]

Robin frowned. "You didn't hurt me. I'm actually pretty sure it was the other way around. Which is part of why I want to help you now. I can't get you drunk. But there's more than that."

[whispersoflove]

"Of course I..." Anael stopped himself before he might push, and hurt, Robin further. He shook his head. "Sex hasn't been helping, if that's what you're thinking." He clenched his hands into fists inside his pockets, then relaxed them. "I told you. I'm not good company."

[goodfellow]

"I'm not talking about sex," said Robin. "I'm talking about getting you out of your own head, in whatever way we can do that." He held up his hands. "But fine, I'm certainly not going to force anything on you."

[whispersoflove]

Anael looked at Robin with a frown for a few seconds, actually unsure what he might be talking about. "What do you mean?"

[goodfellow]

"I mean catharsis," said Robin. "I mean you giving up control. Submission, angel. Whether the's sexual or not is up to you." He shrugged, reached for a cigarette. "Or maybe that isn't what you need. I could be getting the wrong read on you."

[whispersoflove]

Anael wanted to say, The only Person I want to submit you won't take it. He wanted to say, I don't know what I need. He wanted to say, Making love hasn't been what it should be. Instead, he stepped closer to Robin and asked, eyes wide on Robin's, "Would you punish me?"

[goodfellow]

Robin met his eyes for a long moment. "If that's what you need," he said quietly. "If you think it will make things better and not worse." And he reached up and put his hand lightly on the back of Anael's neck, fingers curling into his hair.

[whispersoflove]

"I think," Anael began, and then stopped, let himself feel Robin's hand on the back of his neck. "I feel," he corrected himself, and pulled his hands out of his pockets, put them on Robin's hips, "like I need to hurt. I don't know what it will do."

[goodfellow]

Not taking his hand off of Anael's neck, Robin used his other hand to pull out his phone and swipe to the Uber app. "We're going to the club," he said. He didn't bring people back to his place anymore, not with Prometheus staying there. And he had at least some tools of the trade at work.

[whispersoflove]

Anael closed his eyes at Robin's easy acceptance of his uncertainty. "Robin," he said quietly, once he seemed to be done with his phone. He needed to say it again, just in case, and he waited until he could hold the puck's gaze to repeat himself. "I don't know what it will do. I don't know much, right now."

[goodfellow]

Robin moved his hand to Anael's cheek and looked at him evenly. "You say stop, we stop. You're uncomfortable, we stop. You start to feel worse, we stop. And after, I'll take care of you. Do you trust me?"

[whispersoflove]

"Yes," Anael answered, without an instant's doubt, putting a hand over Robin's. "But I don't trust myself." And that was even more dangerous, wasn't it? Less for Anael than for Robin himself. But oh, how he wanted to lose himself in sensations. In Robin.

[goodfellow]

"You let me worry about that," said Robin, and a car pulled up next to them. "Come on," he said, and opened the back door for him.

[whispersoflove]

Anael hesitated for a moment, and then climbed into the cab, turning towards Robin the moment they were both inside. He waited until he'd confirmed the address of arrival, then said, "I don't know what I'm doing, Robin." It was an uncharacteristic admission, from him, but he could not have kept it quiet.

[goodfellow]

"Yes," Robin said, because he'd gotten that much. "But now you don't have to know, because I'm going to be doing it for you." He closed the door and gave the driver the address of the club.

[whispersoflove]

Anael leaned back in the seat, and despite himself, prayed to God. What he was about to do, he would do for Them.

[goodfellow]

Robin couldn't deny that he was a bit conflicted. His intuition had told him this was what the angel needed, but he could be wrong. It could gloriously backfire on him. He could break him.

He'd just have to be careful not to do that. And to keep his promise to make it sexual only if Anael wanted that.

He decided to give him this time to think, so he said nothing during the drive. When they arrived, he paid the driver and then pulled Anael out of the car to bring him inside.

[whispersoflove]

Anael followed, a step behind Robin, not sure what to expect from the state of the club. Not sure what to expect from Robin, or from himself.

[goodfellow]

"I want you to think now if there are kinds of pain you don't want," Robin said. "Or buttons I shouldn't push. You can stop me at any time, but I'd prefer not to start in on something if it's going to upset you."

He led them through the club, which was not in terrible shape, mostly holes in walls an scorch marks on the floors. They went back towards his office, though the room behind it was a bedroom.

[whispersoflove]

Anael was silent while they walked, feeling as if ants were walking over his skin. They seemed, unsurprisingly, to be focusing on the spot between his collar bones.

"I want to hurt," he told Robin, once they had stopped. "My wings. That's how you can get me to hurt. One of them is hurt already, but that's okay." Only once he had said so did he bring them out, the left one sporting an obvious, ugly bite mark. "I deserve to be punished, Robin," he added, with tears in his voice.

[goodfellow]

Suddenly Robin realized that Anael was right. This was going to hurt him, too.

But he'd do it anyway.

"Give me a safe word, Anael," he said softly.

[whispersoflove]

"I'll tell you to stop, if I need to," Anael told him, his voice still teary. "No games." Stop would mean stop.

[goodfellow]

Robin hesitated. It was his voice. The tears.

"I'll ask once more," he said. "Are you sure?