Robin

[whispersoflove]

Anael nearly stumbled out of the church, doubt and fear gnawing at him harder than they ever had. Sunny had nothing new for him, and God kept silent. God would not answer any of his prayers; of course not, not anymore than They had let him into Their presence, not since the War and Anael's defiance. He had talked to the priest, in the hope that a man of God might help quell his doubts, but the priest had been a sham, the sort of man doomed for hell for some of the desires that ran through his heart.

He felt lost, and wanted to get back to Coby, focus on his love and how it always felt like salvation. But Coby was playing a concert, and Anael would not go and disturb him now. Tears welled up in his eyes and he stopped on a nearby bench, sitting there and covering his face with his hands, trying to get a hold on himself.

Comments

[goodfellow]

Robin might not have even noticed him were it not for the fact that he thought it strange to see someone sobbing in front of a church. It was enough to make his gaze linger as he walked by... and that was when he saw that it was Anael.

He stopped in his tracks. He had not seen Anael since that day he'd been interrogated over his ability to love.

He walked over, and looked down at him. "Anael," he said.

[whispersoflove]

Anael looked up when he heard his name, and only then realised what he should've realised was coming. Robin's emotions held a particular flavour he could easily recognise. He sniffed, and willed his tears away. Not that it worked that well; his eyes were still shining quite hard. "Robin," he answered, his voice strained for the lump in his throat. His smile was genuine, but weak. He was genuinely glad to see the puck, even now.

[goodfellow]

Robin couldn't help but look a little shocked at seeing him like that.

He sat down on the bench beside him.

"What's happened?"

[whispersoflove]

Anael shook his head, trying to blink away his tears. "Nothing you could do anything about." Anael wanted nothing more than to curl up against Robin and find comfort in him, but he could not trust it, especially not after last time.

[goodfellow]

"That wasn't what I asked," Robin said gently.

His heart was not a block of ice, after all. Seeing someone like Anael like this was upsetting. Regardless of how they'd last left things.

[whispersoflove]

Anael looked away, taking a few deep, slow breaths. When he spoke, he was still looking away from Robin, but he sounded steadier than he had. "I have been bound to this earth, an old, demonic spell. It's been weeks. Months, even." Tears worked back into his voice as he added, "There's no end in sight."

[goodfellow]

Robin had known a number over the years, and still he had only the most basic knowledge of angels. But he knew what Ishiah had been through ...

He hesitated. "But you haven't... fallen? It's something else?"

[whispersoflove]

"I'm still an angel," Anael confirmed. Swallowed. And then added, his voice even more strained, "For now."

This was unknown territory for him, too.

[goodfellow]

"I'm sorry," Robin said. Because he was.

"Want to go to a bar and get hammered?" he added, because this was his answer to all ills to which there were no answers.

[whispersoflove]

Anael's laugh got strangled in his throat before it fully sounded. "I can't, remember?" And then, as an afterthought, "Get 'hammered'." He could very well walk into bars and drink them out of alcohol, though, or so he supposed.

[goodfellow]

Robin frowned. "You're stuck here and you can't even get drunk? What about drugs?"

[whispersoflove]

"Robin," Anael said, and his eyes were shining anew as he looked back at the puck, try as he might to blink the tears away. The words stuck in his throat for a moment, but then he managed, "I don't care about drugs."

Of course they wouldn't work any more than the alcohol, but that was the last of his worries.

[goodfellow]

Robin was kind of at a loss. After a visible hesitation, he slipped an arm around Anael's shoulders.

[whispersoflove]

That was a lot more than Anael could resist, and he turned into the puck, eyes shut as he pressed his face to his neck, a hand curled on his chest.

[goodfellow]

Robin held him, and said nothing, because he seriously had no idea what to say. Anael was right, there was nothing he could do to help.

[whispersoflove]

Anael kept leaning into the puck for a long moment, before he forced himself to straighten up, wiping at his tears. "I'm sorry."

[goodfellow]

"You don't have to be sorry," Robin said. "Obviously. I'm sorry I'm not... well, I'm not very good at this. I'm sure there's someone who'd be better at the comforting thing."

[whispersoflove]

To be entirely honest - and Anael liked to be - there were several people who would be better at comforting Anael. But he was still, selfishly, glad to see Robin. "I..." He almost didn't say it, because of their last conversation, but then he decided that he might as well. Hiding things was not in his nature. "I've missed you."

He still looked, and felt, miserable, and he wasn't touching Robin, or even looking at him as he said so. Robin was free to deflect as much as he wanted; Anael wasn't sure that he had it in him to do anything else, right now.

[goodfellow]

"Anael." Robin said his name quietly, and waited for him to look at him. "I am sorry I upset you, the last time we talked. I hope you know that I care about you. And I am sorry that this happened to you."

[whispersoflove]

"I couldn't ignore the fact that you care for me if I tried," Anael reminded him gently, his eyes as full of sadness as his voice. "And I'd never want to." Try. He paused, wiped a slightly unsteady hand over his face, then looked back at Robin and managed a small smile. "Thank you."

[goodfellow]

"You're welcome," said Robin, "but is there actually anything I can do for you? It's uh, it's slightly disturbing to see you so sad, Anael."

[whispersoflove]

Anael huffed out a short, unamused chuckle. "No, Robin," he told him, shaking his head. "What I could use from you - I'd never want you doing it for this sort of reason." If he even could.

[goodfellow]

Robin hesitated visibly, and then finally, he nodded. Anael was probably right. He wouldn't actually want Robin to fake it; he'd know. And Robin wasn't convinced he had whatever it was Anael wanted.

[whispersoflove]

Anael smiled sadly again, then took in a deep breath. "You should go on. Enjoy your evening."

[goodfellow]

"Anael..." Robin sighed. And then said firmly, "No."

[whispersoflove]

Anael looked back at Robin, a slight frown on his brow, and echoed, "No?"

[goodfellow]

"No," said Robin. "I'm not just going to go home and leave you here sobbing on a park bench."

[whispersoflove]

"Will it change anything if I tell you I have no intention of remaining on this park bench?" Anael asked, eyebrows raised slightly. He patted his jacket pockets to check that he had not forgotten the keys Coby had given him, again. "I've got somewhere to go."

[goodfellow]

Robin could certainly understand why he might not be someone's first choice when it came to a comforting shoulder. "Well... okay," he finally said.

[whispersoflove]

"Please don't let me bring your spirit down," Anael stated, reaching out to lay a hand on Robin's arm. "I like to think you'll be enjoying life as much as usual."

[goodfellow]

"Of course I am," Robin said. "Doesn't mean I can't worry about you."

He paused. Then after a second said, "Prometheus is back in London." Less as a response to Anael's statement and more because he figured he should know. Since they didn't seem to get along very well.

[whispersoflove]

Anael smiled at the puck. "That is good. I hope you can find some happiness together."

[goodfellow]

Robin opened his mouth, then closed it again. Finally he said,"I'm not sure that's precisely the way I would phrase it. But." He shrugged. "He's here, for now, and I like having him around." Prometheus was certainly warmer this time around. Robin, of course, was still wary of getting too attached. Because odds were, he'd be gone again any time.

[whispersoflove]

"Moments like these ought to be cherished," Anael told him, wishing that Robin would see, and experience, the truth of that. He deserved to. Of course, Anael believed that everybody did, but Robin particularly so.

[goodfellow]

"While they last," Robin agreed.

[whispersoflove]

"While they last," Anael agreed with a sad, but genuine smile. He was more aware of that pain than most, having not only felt it over and over for himself, but also from other people. And that was without counting Shamsiel, who had provided him with a world of hurt over the millennia.

[goodfellow]

Robin wasn't sure what else to say about Prometheus to Anael. So he only offered a little shrug, and then finally, a small smile. "Well if there's anything I can do to help you, let me know," Robin said. He didn't outright offer his skills that might be less than godly, legal, or moral, but he knew that Anael knew what he could offer him if he needed it.

[whispersoflove]

"Thank you," Anael nodded with a small smile. He was seized by the urge to lean in and kiss Robin, let out some of his Grace to feel Robin's reaction to it and find comfort in it, but he stopped himself. Robin was his own man, so to speak, and after the way they had left things last time, it would feel too much like forcing Anael's love on him.

[goodfellow]

Robin actually felt a little badly about what had happened between them. He wasn't entirely sure why he'd reacted the way he did. And he also wasn't sure if his change of heart now had anything to do with Prometheus being back.

He did, however, lean in and kiss Anael's cheek.

"Stay in touch, okay?" he said.

[whispersoflove]

While Anael could feel some form of regret laced into Robin's feelings for him, he was not sure what it was about, and he didn't feel up to having the same sort of conversation as last time, so he wasn't going to ask. He closed his eyes briefly when Robin kissed his cheek, and swallowed around the lump in his throat, giving the puck a nod and a small smile. "Make the most of it, Robin," he told him quietly.

It was the best he could wish for him.